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Coping with the Loss of an Only Child: A Mental Health Reflection



The recent news of the passing of the only son of veteran Nigerian actress Peju Ogunmola has left many deeply saddened. At 59, she not only faces the grief of losing a child but also the unique trauma that comes with the loss of an only child.

This tragedy sheds light on an important but often overlooked issue—the impact of such a loss on mental health.


The Unique Trauma of Losing an Only Child

The loss of any child is devastating, but for parents with only one child, the grief carries additional layers of complexity:

  • Sense of Finality: For many, an only child represents the totality of parenthood. Losing them may feel like losing one’s entire legacy.

  • Complicated Emotions: Parents may struggle with guilt, self-blame, or questioning why they never had another child.

  • Isolation: Unlike those with larger families, parents of an only child may feel more alone in their grief.

  • Fear of the Future: The thought of starting over—especially at an advanced age—can feel impossible both physically and emotionally.

For a woman at 59, the biological window for naturally conceiving and carrying another child has already closed, which can intensify the sense of hopelessness.


Psychological and Emotional Effects

Research shows that the death of a child, particularly an only child, can increase the risk of:

  • Depression and anxiety disorders

  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

  • Complicated grief—a prolonged form of mourning that can interfere with daily life

  • Physical health decline, as grief often weakens the immune system and affects cardiovascular health

Parents may also struggle with feelings of emptiness and identity loss—after years of being a caregiver, the absence of that role can create a deep void.


Coping and Finding Support

While grief of this magnitude may never completely go away, healing is possible. Some helpful approaches include:

  1. Professional Counseling: Therapy can help process the trauma and prevent prolonged depression.

  2. Support Groups: Connecting with others who have faced similar loss provides comfort and a sense of belonging.

  3. Faith and Spiritual Practices: For many, prayer, meditation, and community worship become powerful sources of strength.

  4. Healthy Outlets: Journaling, exercise, and creative expression can help channel emotions.

  5. Family and Friends: Having a circle of compassionate listeners can ease the burden of grief.


A Word of Consolation

To Peju Ogunmola and all parents who have endured this kind of loss: words may never fully capture the depth of your pain. Losing an only child is a grief that shakes the very foundations of identity and hope. Yet even in this dark valley, healing is possible—step by step, through the support of loved ones, faith, and professional care.

Grief is not a sign of weakness, and tears are not a lack of faith. They are the price of deep love. May comfort, strength, and peace surround you in this season.


Final Thoughts

The loss of an only child is one of the most painful experiences anyone can face. But shining a light on this reality also helps us, as a community, to respond with compassion, awareness, and support. No one should have to carry such a burden in silence.


✨ If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, please don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Healing begins with acknowledging the pain and reaching out for support.



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